Despre avocaţi


Tocmai ce am primit pe mail nişte chestii foarte funny şi pe deasupra şi adevărate pe care m-am gândit să le împărtăşesc cu voi. Aceste citate sunt dintr-o carte numită "Disorder in the American Courts" şi sunt conversaţii care efectiv au avut loc în timpul proceselor şi care au fost culese de reporteri şi puse în această carte.

So, here we go:

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.



Şi cea mai tare :

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.



Eu cred că avocaţii aveau întrebările pregătite, doar le puneau în ordine, fără să mai ia în considerare răspunsurile :))

Sau, dacă e altă variantă, încep să cred că şi la ei Dreptul se face ca în România... copiezi cu handsfree şi apoi te bagă tăticu în barou. Trist.


P.S. Asta e special pentru Roxi, că tot învaţă la Drept ;))


LE: Am găsit aici lista completă a citatelor care le-am primit pe mail.


5 comentarii to "Despre avocaţi"

  • Vai, dar ce drăguţ din partea mea. Cum să mă revanşez?
    I kill you!!!

  • partea ta* =))

  • "ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?"

    de ce oare imi vin in minte adi despot si duda aia?:)))

  • @ jorjh: Da, şi mie :))

  • Careva sa zica si Cristi (aka Adrian)se va descurca de indata ce va termina facultatea ;)

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